The Name Game: A Fight 'Til the Birth

Yup, that's what choosing a real name for our PadThai is going to be. . .a fight 'til the birth.

Ben and I started allowing ourselves to begin thinking about names for PadThai when I was about 3 months pregnant--just into the supposed "safety" zone of pregnancy, and eagerly looking forward to the significant task of choosing an identity for our baby. At that point, we still didn't know that he was a "he" yet, so we made lists of boy and girl names.

Wouldn't you know that we came up with a Top Three List for girls names after just a few weeks. Snap. Lickety split. Just like that. Boys names, however, were giving us some trouble. . . but we weren't worried. . .we had plenty of time.

And then we had the 20-week ultrasound, which confirmed that we would need to save those girly names for a later date and focus our search in the "smaller half" of all those baby name books where the boy names hang out. . .and taunt me. Our list grew quickly to a completely-non-manageable 30 names--some which I like, some which Ben likes, and very few which we both like--none of which Ben or I love.

We repeatedly told ourselves that this shouldn't be difficult and envisioned the perfect name pouncing on us in one of those "Ah-Ha! That's it!" moments. We have since devoted 4-hour car rides, the time before falling asleep many nights, and basically some portion of every day over the past month or so to discussing or researching name possibilities. And yes, we have ARGUED! Benny and I rarely argue, so this factoid alone shows how important this decision is to both of us. We are both stubborn, and we both know that we will not be giving in to the other's first choice, unless it is also our own first choice.

It boils down to a matter of priorities. Ben and I have discovered that we each use very different criteria to analyze the potential of a name and ultimately to decide whether a name is "good" or "bad."

1) In my opinion, I strongly believe that my boy must "not be one of 10," which pretty much eliminates the current top 50 most popular boys names. Ben believes that those names are in the top 50 for a reason. . .because they're good solid names.

2) I do not believe in choosing a name for my lil' guy if it is the name of someone that I know well or see on a relatively frequent basis (this does not include close family names, however). For reasons similar to the first, I do not want to feel as if I have copied someone else's choice, yet I still want to know that I have chosen a unique name, but not a name that's so-unique-it's-freaky, for my little boy. Ben believes that we should disregard all other friends', family's, and acquaintances' name choices and choose a name based on how much we like that name. According to Ben, "Lori's circle of influence is very big. . .if she's ever known or heard of someone with a certain name, the name is out." I would have to say that's not entirely true, but it's possible I may place too much emphasis on other people's choices. . .but it's only slightly possible ;)

3) I don't like names that end in "is". . .it reminds me of a certain male body part. Ben thinks I'm ridiculous, which I very well may be.

4) Ben doesn't like names that end in "er" because they remind him of occupations rather than names.

5) Ben doesn't like short one-syllable names. . .I don't like really long ones.

Luckily, there are a few things we do agree on:

1) We both like several names that end in the sound or spelling of "ik" or "ek" or "ick". . .but those are tough to swallow when your last name is Ulrich (uhl-rihk). So this point is mute.

2) We both like the idea of a name having some option for a good solid nick name.

Refusing to spend any more money on baby name books, I spent an hour or two at Barnes & Noble this past weekend "borrowing" their books. The result of my trip was that it made me like my current number-one choice even more. . .the problem being that Ben is not at all sold on this name. And then I went to the Library last night and checked-out two more books. . .one is "Baby Names for Idiots," which we currently feel describes us perfectly, and the other which has an international slant, in hopes that people in other countries know how to name their babies better than we do in the US.

So, the struggle continues on. I hope we can soon blog about that "Ah-Ha! Moment." Sigh.